Dealing with loss….10 years later
How well someone deals with loss can be known only with the passage of time. People often ask how I managed after losing my grandparents, my mother, and my father at such a young age. Or they ask: "Paula, if you believe nature is benevolent, then why do children die?". These are not easy questions to answer, particularly when someone is in pain … but I would like to share my thoughts.
If we could evaluate how well we deal with loss, I feel it would be through seeing what we did with the pain. As humans, the one gift we have is our ability to choose. We create our lives through the choices we make. Though mourning is an integral part of the process — and so important to our ability to heal — we must also take action in honor of those we have lost. This makes their existence that much more valuable and their death one of honor.
It is of no use to those who have left us if we don’t honor their existence and rest too long in our self-pity. With the 10-year anniversary of 9/11 approaching, it is important to see how we as a country/city/individuals have used this tragic loss as a way to create many wonderful things. The individual and collective efforts have been nothing less than inspiring. This is our way and what makes our country so great!
Our own Nehemiah holds a class every Wednesday night for the firefighters and a bi-annual Fundraiser for Health, which will be taking place this month. It is amazing to see these brave men come to our studio and find healing there.
To mark this anniversary, I will be teaching a free class in conjunction with Yoga Month and Stonehenge. We will honor the firefighters who lost their lives, as well as all the people who turned this tragedy into an opportunity for great beauty. There are so many efforts out there. I bow to each of them and am both honored and humbled to be a part of this one small effort. Let no one die in vein. This is our choice.