I Learned How To Unlock My Mind and Found My Freedom
The great guru’s (I’m speaking here of the ancient teachers) tell us that our experience of the world is really an illusion. We create the world based on our thoughts or – our belief systems. Our belief systems – are based on our morality. Often, they are so ingrained that we emphatically believe them to be universal truths, instead of something we have invented or inherited from others to stabilize what might otherwise be a very confused existence. Let me offer an example: A generation or so ago people believed that we were all meant to marry and have children. Moreover, we should only marry once to a single person till death do us part. Most of those people are no longer on the planet, rest their souls, and I bet you would be hard pressed to find someone between the ages of 40-50 married, married only one time. I know they’re out there – but you get my point.
Our world is designed, expanded or limited, by what we believe to be true. Those beliefs are based on our parents, where we live, our economic status, and our religion mostly. When I started to examine my beliefs I found quite a few that just weren’t working for me anymore. In fact they were stopping me from being me. I found I was aligning with a “system of belief’ more than who I really was, behaving as I thought I was “supposed to” instead of how I actually felt.
One of the strongest beliefs I discovered I held was to do with acceptance. I believed if people were to like me I had to be entertaining, funny and tell interesting stories all the time. I had to know about pop culture (I know virtually nothing). I should be able to make small talk and not be so damn serious otherwise I was uninteresting to others. When I would meet new people, let’s say at a party, I would try so hard to be entertaining that they not only didn’t like me – I am pretty sure they thought I was simply a drag! In contrast, my friends –the ones that laugh because I can’t tell you the name of a single actor, say that I’m not funny –but love how I laugh really hard at their jokes. The ones that say I’m not at all light but enjoy my depth, really like me for me. Mostly, because they actually have met me… not my “supposed to” impostor.
In doing the work I found that getting under the hood of these systems of belief is no easy job. Some are so fixed to our ego they need more then a crowbar to pull them away while others just take a hard shake. I’d like to suggest a few easy steps that I have found helpful. Take a look and see if there are a few that you are ready to give back in order to be more you then your “supposed to” impostor.
Make three lists:
· Make a list of things you are suppose to do. ( get married, be interesting, save for the future, have figured it all out etc)
· Next go through the list and make a second list and decide where you inherited each of them from (get married-mother, save for the future-dad and TV commercials )
· Your third list is the list of things you’d like to keep and those you can offer back to its creator. (Get married mom’s fear of being alone- not mine)
· Tidy this up making a final list of all the things you have consciously chosen to be in your life. This will be your “I want to” list
· Ask a close friend to tell you three things that they notice you believe to be true. No big discussion just have them write it down and give it to you. Note: The one you are most bothered by is the one that needs the most work.
· Ask yourself if this belief is serving you. Is it offering you a richer life or is it keeping you small and stuck in some social fear.
· If you don’t feel richer ask yourself why you keep it. What belief about yourself and the world does it support? Does keeping it keep you small or help you to live a more expansive and truthful life?
· Try to develop a new way of looking at yourself without with belief. Write down what that is and put it in a place you can see every day. Reminding ourselves daily of the things we are changing is important part of real long lasting transformation
I find doing this one or twice a year helps me to remember to think like me. To stay aligned with my own happiness and to be brave and take responsibility for living my own life the way I want it to be. It reminds me as the gurus tell us– life is an illusion of my own making and I can make it look however I desire it to be.
Interested in unlocking your mind and going deeper into uncovering belief systems that may be holding you back? Join Paula in Costa Rica for a Spiritual Development Retreat/Training in 2014!