Whose Life Is It Anyway? Ramblings on life, yoga, romance, money, sex, life, yoga, art, music, life and life.
The Whole Hearted
Perhaps you watched the Brene Brown video, so this musing might make some sense. If not, you can see it HERE. I believe "whole hearted" is what we all desire to be. We seem to want all things to be whole. Our food, our exercise, our life. We know instinctually that integrated is better than the alternative: fragmented or processed, which takes something from its natural state and makes it less than its whole. In Brene's beautiful and inspired dissertation on what it means to be "whole hearted" she tells us that the secret is the willingness to be vulnerable.
As I pondered this further it seemed to me that what makes us unwilling to be vulnerable is fear of being known. When the heart is full (in Brene's understanding), it means it is completely exposed. Like with the sun, there are no shadows. When it isn't exposed, the thing that prevents us from feeling, giving and I would add being LOVE, is fear. Of what?! Fear that somehow, others will see us, our true self, and not love who we really are.we become masters at pretending and hiding our vulnerable hearts. Humans are wonderful at constructing a fortress around our hearts designed to perfection by our childhood fears. Do you follow? We have built walls of "perfection" (or so we think), based on our childhood pain — or, more accurately, the intense need never to feel "that particular pain" again.
What is worse than our unconscious desire to preserve, if I may, that shitty childhood, is its cost. The thing that all humans truly long for at their core — the ability to be "whole hearted". We sacrifice our chance at real happiness to the preservation of that childhood pain. Hence, we give up the beauty of feeling, giving and most importantly,being "LOVE" to maintain the fortress around our disintegrated pasts, to live in the shadow, or the darkness of our moon. Interesting, right?
Why would we choose to live without love if we could have it right now..today? I would say misguided comfort. We live in the shadow and the fear because we know it. It feels oddly safe. I know this pain. Another pain, even if it could possibly lead to freedom, is far too scary. And so it might be.
To let go of the past, to live boldly in your whole heart, takes being truly tired of the old and constant gnawing at our hearts and it takes courage. Look around you. Most people choose the moon. For most, the sun is too full, too illuminating. We choose the life of quiet desperation. But as humans we are hard wired to evolve, and so we do. When we are ready real change can and does happen. We can strip away the stories of our past and live here and now with the ability to live this and all the moments ahead whole and from the heart.
If you heart is yearning for wholeness; if you are ready to step into the light and let go of those familiar shadows; perhaps you will join us this August in Honduras for our "Regaining Your Whole Heart: Yoga and "SELF" Discovery Retreat"